So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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