I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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