Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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