So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
