Ambien. No doubt about it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize