Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
