are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My ass is underappreciated
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
