Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
handjob tips. give me some.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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