don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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