I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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