I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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