I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
