This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't deserve a penis
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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