i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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