Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
