I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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