Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize