Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
