We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
