all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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