Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize