I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
