:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
