well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
