I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
