what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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