Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
