In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
