I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
