worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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