just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
