Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
