if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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