the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
bring money and cleavage
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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