I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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