pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
