I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
