the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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