D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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