My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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