Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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