Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
