Non-Jews are for practice
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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