***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Bring me that man meat
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
