i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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