worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I look better un-naked...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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