just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
