Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
