That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
