Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize