My girlfriend figured out who you are.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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