Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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