There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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