morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
